(no subject)

[shelley_winters]

Shelley used to look forward to the weekend.

No work, the opportunity to sleep for longer, see her friends, catch up on things she hadn't had time for. Now it just means she's alone with her nightmare of the past year for two whole days without any easy way to escape, feeling herself tense up and want to cry every single time she recalls his existence after being briefly distracted.

And he's hogging the couch, too.

Not that she wants to sit anywhere near him, but it's - well, annoying. Half the time she wants to run and hide, the other half she's just dying to smack him.

Bastard.

And he should really stop staring at the television as if he doesn't know what it is, he's been around long enough to-

Oh, John Cleese is on. Oh. Right.

"It's a parody film that you are watching, Elan."

Comments

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Largely unaware that he was taking up more than his fair share of the couch, Elan somewhat disinterestedly studied the screen. Still rather ill, he was watching simply to give himself something to do between periods of sleep. Most of the programs had been rather inane. This was just downright bizarre. There were rather stupidly dressed men making an odd motion across the screen while a man with a large pack followed behind making noises.

"What is all that clop-clopping about?"

[shelley_winters]

Oh dear. This is going to be a long film. Shelley sits down on the arm of the couch as she thinks. What is it all about, anyway?

"It is making fun of other films with low budgets by using make-believe horses. The, um, clopping is a sound-effect for the hooves."

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Elan's brow furrowed slightly in response... Very well, then. That was certainly odd, but understandable. His brow furrowed again as one of the soldiers on the castle commented.

"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut."

"Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?"

"Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?"


...The look on Elan's face spoke volumes for his bewilderment. It was not entirely clear to him why what were obviously primitive people were arguing about the physics of the flight of a small bird. Though, he supposed that the soldiers did have a point.

[shelley_winters]

Shelley watches the film determinedly, with the occasional half-snicker. Even after seeing it many times before, it's still funny.

And... The odd cautious glance at the look on Elan's face is also on the hilarious side. Apparently Dark Lords don't have a sense of humour.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Elan frowned at this whole exchange before inquiring of her. This was all very strange.

"Am I to assume that the... film and not my fever is to blame for the surreality of this?"

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

[shelley_winters]

Here's one.

I'm not dead!

"...No, not the fever. It's meant to be this silly."

God bless the Pythons.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

His brow furrowed for a moment as he continued watching the film.

"'Ere. He says he's not dead!"
"Yes, he is."
"I'm not!"
"He isn't?"
"Well, he will be soon. He's very ill."
"I'm getting better!"
"No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment."
"Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations."

As the scene went on, Elan began to smile, before chortling softly with laughter. The irony of all those people being dead, and then this man wanting to dispose of someone who was not was rather rich, and quite humorous. It was time that something was humorous in this farce.

[shelley_winters]

Shelley eyes him. She's rather sure that he doesn't know about the context, but... She won't ask, maybe. Who know what kind of things he finds funny.

*Thud*

"Thanks very much!"

Hmph. Just figures he'd like that bit.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

The next scene was even more bizarre, and Elan tilted his head slightly. Becoming more accustomed to the absurdity, he was finding the film a little easier to enjoy.

"What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!"

"Well, I am King!"

"Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the--"

Now, this was humorous. The interplay involving differing expectations and social mores was a staple of Second Age comedy, and this situation was simple enough that Elan could certainly enjoy it. Chuckling to himself, he sat up for a moment to drink some water, careful not to spit it in a fit of laughter.

[shelley_winters]

Shelley refrains from facepalming, just barely. Maybe she should just put him in front of the Flying Circus sometime. It looks like it might keep him out of her hair, at least.

"Acceptable, then?" she says, unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Frowning slightly, Elan turned to her and asked a touch irritably. His water had returned to the end table.

"Do you not also find it humorous?"

[shelley_winters]

"I do, I've seen it hundreds of times," she says, standing up as a way of avoiding his gaze and folding her arms.

"You just don't like many things here, it's almost a shock when you do."

It's her world. She almost feels obliged to be defensive of it.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Closing his eyes, he sighed slightly, sinking down into the couch. The movement and distraction from the screen had reminded him how much his head and body ached.

"Have a seat and watch the film. It is a diversion at least."

[shelley_winters]

"I'm not sure anything could be a big enough one," she mutters moodily, before flopping back down - defiantly not on the couch, but in her armchair.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot

Elan frowned slightly, staring.

"I would like to hear the explanation you are offering for that."

[shelley_winters]

There is a long pause.





"...Parody of musicals? I think?"

Because really.

"The Knights of the Round Table are a famous mythical order, so... I suppose they're mocking that?"

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

The explanation was remarkably insufficient in the face of armored men dancing on tables.

"...I see."

[shelley_winters]

Shelley shrugs helplessly.

"Not everything has to make sense. Just watch."

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

The pair continued to watch the film in relative silence excusing occasional questions or sarcastic comments.

It was an amusing diversion for Elan, and he appreciated that given his poor health at the time.

[shelley_winters]

Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax!
The Castle Anthrax?
Yes. Oh, it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need!

Shelley rolls her eyes sideways to gauge Elan's reaction. She'd forgotten about this bit. It had been one of her favourites, but... Well...

In his company, it possibly isn't what she wants to... Oh, never mind. She looks back determinedly at the screen.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Elan's face remained rather blank as he stared straight ahead for a moment, his head tilting to the side as it continued.

Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay. Nay. Come. Come. You may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!

...This was very odd. Once he mentioned the vow of chastity, then it made sense, and he chuckled, though he could not quite figure out the girls.

[shelley_winters]

Shelley is still staring with determination directly at the screen, and keeps it up during the 'Doctors' scene, although she does have to repress a giggle.

Damn it.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Elan started chuckling when the fourth wall was handily shattered. That sort of thing always amused him. When the subject of spanking came up, the matter was entirely too ludicrous to avoid laughing out loud.

[shelley_winters]

Shelley laces her fingers together, squeezing hard enough that the discomfort distracts her.

And then, the oral sex!

Maybe she should have left. Just... left. Don't react, he's not laughing at you, just- it's because it's funny.

This is the first time she hasn't found it so herself.

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Like Launcelot's unfortunate arrival putting the kibosh on Galahad's enjoyment, the change of the scene ended Elan's mirth, returning to complete bewilderment at the curious animation sequence, which he did not find humorous in any way.

[shelley_winters]

It takes a while for Shelley to relax, even after the initial cause of her discomfiture is removed.

But animation sequences are good for some things, and after a minute or two, she is able to glance over again.

"They didn't have computers that could do the effects, then," she volunteers. "So they are sort of mocking the bad special effects, now."

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Elan nodded uneasily, the colors and such exacerbated his headache.

"I suppose so. I just find it very odd, and slightly eye-jarring given the color palette."

[shelley_winters]

Shelley shrugs coldly.

"I can't help you there."

[always-a-liar.livejournal.com]

Frowning, Elan continued to watch the film, though he was getting tired. The hour had grown rather late, and so the room was dark with only the ambient flickering lighting of the television.

There was something about a sappy prince and a wedding that he found rather dull. There was something not particularly funny, and annoying about his voice.

[shelley_winters]

After a while, Shelley gets up and quietly slips out. She can't enjoy the film, not with him there, and she always has things to get done.

And if they keep her away from him, so much the better.