Journal extracts
Nov. 7th, 2005 12:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shelley_winters Micheal told me I should talk to people about these. But I've thought about it a couple of times, and I hate to even think about it. But I'm writing it here in case showing it to someone will be easier some time. Though I doubt it.
The first dream I remember happening was so real I thought it was actually happening. I walked into my room, and Elan was sitting there. He was in the chair at the foot of the bed. He had ice water, which is what he always used to drink when he pretended to be Rhalen Lyngar.
The doors and windows disappeared when I tried to escape. I'm not sure why I even bothered - but it made sense to run at the time. I remember thinking he would kill me this time - when he congratulated me on my ability to survive death.
He was waiting for me again - this time was supposed to be after I died. I looked inNatael Joar Asmodean's mirror and I was undead again, like when I first met him, and in the first dream he sent me. Then he made me follow him to Hell - I blame Dante for this, the git.
It was confusing. We were in the garden, and inside and somewhere else that wasn't clear at the same time. In the gardenwe Ishamael and I were having a conversation. Just something silly. He was asking me what I was thinking - he did do that sometimes. The rose garden was the same one as in V'Saine. Nothing else was the same. It was as if I was remembering another time, but it was as if it was happening too. This was not something I could have told Michael. I think it was because I was afraid it would happen some day. Maybe. I never expected to escape.
And there was something else as well. It was more of a memory - but it was strong too. It was like I could feel it. He was hurting me, he wanted me to choose him, and I was trying but I was dying too, I remember that much. And with the other, it was as if I knew on some level it was inevitable.
The first dream I remember happening was so real I thought it was actually happening. I walked into my room, and Elan was sitting there. He was in the chair at the foot of the bed. He had ice water, which is what he always used to drink when he pretended to be Rhalen Lyngar.
The doors and windows disappeared when I tried to escape. I'm not sure why I even bothered - but it made sense to run at the time. I remember thinking he would kill me this time - when he congratulated me on my ability to survive death.
He was waiting for me again - this time was supposed to be after I died. I looked in
It was confusing. We were in the garden, and inside and somewhere else that wasn't clear at the same time. In the garden
And there was something else as well. It was more of a memory - but it was strong too. It was like I could feel it. He was hurting me, he wanted me to choose him, and I was trying but I was dying too, I remember that much. And with the other, it was as if I knew on some level it was inevitable.
