shelley_winters | (no subject)

(no subject)

[OOC: Directly after this.]

It's a jolt, waking so suddenly. She stares at the shadowy ceiling, damp with sweat and shaking. She remembers... An all-too familiar nightmare which changed into a very unfamiliar dream where she and Ishamael had been children - and she couldn't do anything.

In dreams, anything's normal, but she could think, but her dream-body didn't obey the least thing she tried to do. It's still dark outside. The girl sits up, rubbing her head. That wasn't like anything, and she never dreams like that, and it makes no sense...

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His gaze shifted as he stared at the ceiling. His mouth tightening slightly as he spoke. His fingers drummed slightly irritably on the blankets. It was so very frustrating.

"An accident. There are a lot of technical details, but it boils down to an accident occurring and you being drawn without my intention into my dream."

A long sigh as he glanced at her, sitting up and shifting a bit closer to her as he did so.

"My apologies."

Shelley sits still, thinking, and also keeping the blanket very firmly pulled up over her chest. She may be wearing a nightie, but he is on her bed and it doesn't quite seem enough. He must have been trying something to do with her, or the odds are too great that it would be her sucked into his dream, so...

"What were you doing?"

Ishamael slid a bit closer as he leaned to the side with a small frown. He doubted that watching her dreams would help the matter and so a convenient deception would be best.

"Weaving a particularly intricate shield... When it collapsed, you must have been drawn in because you are in close physical proximity and because of the effect of Ta'veren. The laws of chance are distorted."

Shelley doesn't want to know about that.

"Oh."

She turns away, rubbing at her head. If that's the kind of thing he dreams - really odd, but one or two things are particularly worrying -

"It really hurt. Dreams don't usually."

Or maybe she's just remembering better.

Leaning over, he gently touched two fingers to her head, a small touch of Healing taking away any discomfort. Though, he made no effort to move away afterwards.

"Such is the way with shared dreams."

Shelley twitches away in any case, slight warmth of Healing making the blankets almost unpleasantly hot, though she still refuses to drop them.

"I'm fine now."

His voice was soft as he spoke quietly, his eyes not quite meeting hers. The light shifting across the white blankets was beautiful. A slight stretch.

"I want to make amends."

She frowns in the half-light, tired, still shaky, and cross.

"What do you mean?"

Fingers caressed her face lightly for the moment as he smiled fondly. She was lovely to the touch and to the eyes.

"I care about you, and I want to help."

Glancing away from her down the bed they were, for the moment, sharing, he spoke softly.

"I understand now, and can help with the nightmares that you suffer from. I can help you conquer them."

Shelley flinches, pulling back from his hand.

"Y-you... you saw?"

Although of course he has had her journal for however long, and she knows he's read it. Help her? If it weren't for him, she wouldn't have any nightmares to worry about. Not as bad as these are.

A firm nod from Ishamael as he leaned back slightly. His blue eyes stared forward away from her.

"I saw a glimpse in the moment before you were pulled into my dream."

Turning towards her, he spoke more directly.

"That was enough."

Shelley turns her face away, horrified and strangely, sinkingly ashamed. She knew that he was aware of what she dreamed, reliving... well, last time, but actually seeing it?

He wants her to forget it. She can't. And without forgetting, there will never be forgiveness, though she's afraid to say so when not angry.

"...Oh."

Laying a hand on her shoulder, he glanced down at her. His voice was soft as he watched her face through the curtain of messy black hair. If she could but transcend what was in his distant past, then they would both benefit.

"I can and want to help with the nightmares, or find someone who can. You will be happier for it."

She stares back unhappily, conflicted. Yes, she wants them to end. The number of times she has woken up screaming or crying, even in daytime, suddenly shivering, remembering... but does she trust him? The man who was the cause of those terrible memories in the first place?

No.

Of course she doesn't, and it shows on her face.

"You do?"

Her small voice is frankly disbelieving.

His hand caressed her cheek for a moment as he smiled sadly. She was disbelieving, but would she want the nightmares to end more?

"Yes, I do."

His eyes glanced away from her for a moment as he softly spoke. His bare chest brushed her shoulder and side.

"...I care about you."

For once she tolerates him touching her. To be free of those nightmares... But what he says makes her expression tighten again.

He cares. He cares about some toy he wants to keep a little longer for his own amusement. She looks down, cold and stubborn.

Gently, his arm slid around her. His voice is warm, but gently insistent. His fingertips slid across the flesh of her upper arm.

"Talk with me. I see that look, but tell me what you are thinking. I want to know. I want to help."

Shelley stiffens, muscles tensing along her back and arms.

"You just don't want me broken."

And he doesn't. What good is a broken toy? She doesn't look up, cold and frightened. Even if he does intend to help get rid of her dreams, the worst of them are all due to him.

His fingers slowly wrapped around her jawline as he spoke softly. All of his time studying her gave him a very strong idea of what she might be thinking. He wanted her to understand.

"You are not an object or a toy. You are a person, and one whom I care about deeply."

Shelley flushes slightly, uncertainly, and turns her head away.

"There is remarkable evidence against that, you know."

She knows. It is the subject of most of her nightmares every night, after all.

Ishamael nodded calmly, his voice still soft as his fingers began to slowly stroke her upper arm.

"I know... I did not always see you such, but now I feel differently."

"Does that mean I should?"

Oh, and she shouldn't have said that. But it's true - and it may have been a long time for him, but for her...

And she doesn't believe anyone can change from what he was. What he is.

His face fell for a moment before he sighed quietly. His arm tightened around her in an embrace.

"It means that you can. We can make things different. It can change. I can help with those nightmares."

"How?"

Oh, she wants them gone. All she's waiting for are his conditions, and how intends to do it. Somethings are worse than nightmares.

A small smile as he leaned his head gently against hers. His voice was soft as he spoke.

"Sadly, there is no instantaneous cure, since the Power is never the best option. Simple counselling is best."