shelley_winters | (no subject)

(no subject)

Shelley had been tired when they got back, so tired she had gone to bed immediately rather than reading as she normally did.

But sleep, when it came, was disturbed and confusing. It is warm in her room, but she shivers in her sleep, dancing alone in a room that is empty but she's being watched...

The girl sits up slowly, rubbing her eyes. The tension isn't going away even in the peace of the night, that prickling of undefinable vulnerable terror that the dreams she has been having leave her with.

After splashing her face with water, she quietly steps out of her room to wander down the corridor outside. It's dark and silent, which is oddly comforting as she walks up and down through the silent house, avoiding the area where Elan's study is. He sleeps little, and is often awake working at this time of night.

Her bare feet make no sound on the smooth floor, only the faint brush of her nightdress as she walks telling of her presence. She stops only to look out of the window for a time, trying to calm herself to sleep again. A soft mist has replaced the former clear sky, and she can only just make out the garden past it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I'm alive. I'm- Stop it."

The urge to try and pull his hand from her is strong, but the girl stubbornly concetrates on looking away from him. She can't stop herself shaking.

Your beauty cascaded on me
A single fingertip trailed up her shoulders and neck where it joined the rest of his hand in touching her face. His mellifluous voice sang so very softly to her. The winter's rain pattered outside the window, a time signature to his music.
In this white night fantasy
"Crestfallen soul, rest for this night.
Love is here, right here under my wings."

Maim me
A note of panic under her voice, misery apparent as she shifts involuntarily under the gentle trailing of his fingertips.
tame me
"Stop. Please..."
you can never change me

A tilt of his head. A slight peal of thunder as hand pulls from her. The night's cool air. His bare chest pulling slightly away from her.

"Do you want to be miserable any longer? Do you want keep being in pain from the loneliness?"

"I'm all right."

A low voice. Shelley is still stubborn, even now. But it's easier to breathe suddenly, in spite of the chill in the air.

He leaned in close, but not touching her. A touch of curiosity and concern in his voice and in the tilt of his head.

"...Are you really?"

"Yes."

They both know that she's lying. Shelley almost manages to glare at him. Almost.

A gentle touch on her cheek. A soft look in his eyes.

"Let me hold you."

His thumb slid across her cheek.

"We have a peace till morning's light. No fear, no pain."

The soft rain came down, the low, rolling thunder.

"Let me hold you, and you can have rest from the misery for this one night."

His body slid next to hers. Bare chest against her as his white robe clung to his body.

"Tomorrow will come as days do, but we will leave it for tomorrow. Let us have peace for this night."

Shelley looks down. She wants to run away, but he is between her and the hall still.

"It's not... that simple."

All very well for him to tell her no fear when she remembers what she does. Peace. But there can never be trust.

A calm glance away. His voice soft.

"No, it is not..."

A pause and then a glance at her face.

"But as you know, a complex sequence with many pieces is often reduced to a few pieces for those few turns."

"Life is not Sha'rah."

To Shelley at least, Sha'rah makes sense. This is beyond her.

Elan nods calmly, and studies her with his blue eyes.

"True..."

A gentle hand laid on her shoulder.

"Would it not be worth it to have an end to the loneliness for but one night? One night's peace."

One night, and back to the fear after that. The fear that he caused. What is he offering? Nothing she wants. Not from him.

Shelley doesn't react to the hand.

"...I don't- know. No. I-"

A kiss on her cheek.

"Let me hold you."

A warm embrace on the cool night. The soft sound of the rain, of their hearts beating.

"Let us have peace for one evening. You can rest in peace. No loneliness, no misery."

"We have peace."

They agreed. She agreed, didn't she? Shelley sits very still. No response to his kiss.

A small smile. His blue eyes glint in a lightning flash.

"Of course... Why not use the opportunity for respite from your loneliness and misery?"

Again, the quietly insistent statement.

"Let me hold you."

"I can't because..."

Shelley glances out at the window, more to think than anything else. The ridiculousness of the situations hits her, and she almost laughs, but without humour.

"I don't even like you, why would letting you hold me help anything?"

A tensing of his body around hers. His wintergreen breath near her face.

"Because I am not an empty bed. I am not being alone. I am another person's arms."

A gentle caress on her hands.

"I am warmth."

Shelley swallows hard, and looks up.

"W-which helps me how, exactly?" she manages to ask, meeting his eyes as evenly as she can.

A calm, affectionate gaze returns. The rain on the window slides down as his hand wraps around hers. So very gentle.

"You will have one night's peace. Rest easily. You are safe, warm, and do not have to be alone."

His index finger strokes her hand.

"Let me hold you in my arms."</small

There is a heartbeat of silence. Shelley doesn't move, not even to pull her hand away from his.

"What if I'd rather be alone?"

Blue eyes watch her closely. Narrowing slightly as his lips pursed.

"Would it be so bad? Just once. On your terms, of course. You would set exactly how, and where. Your terms."

His hand stroked hers. Softly, delicately, a smile as his eyes flicked down to the caress.

"The misery could be gone, a sleep without dreams, the healing warmth of someone's arms, a respite from the suffering."

Leaning in, his chest against hers as he whispers slightly in her ear.

"Just this once, let me hold you. Nothing difficult, or bad about it. Just... an embrace for this night."

He could feel the muscles under his pale skin ripple against her chest as he brought her hand to his chest. The light pressure of her breasts against his chest was exhilarating. Palm to his solar plexus, fingers across his chest, heartbeat against her hand.

"Know my heart."

(What makes you think I have a heart?)

Shelley tries to pull away, forgetting the window frame behind her. Light as his body might be against her, she is effectively trapped, hand against his heart. She feels it beating, warm under her cold fingers as he whispers to her, and even if she wanted to she couldn't stop herself shaking. The girl feels weak, and she knows she is too weak to push him away. Even just breathing feels too loud in the suddenly-confined space.

Her eyes are tight shut, not wanting to see the look in his. Slowly and tensely she shakes her head. No.

He turns his head aside. His lips tense slightly. Such a stubborn girl.

"You want to return to the nightmares? Return to the empty bed?"

Leaning back from her slightly, his hand slid hers to his shoulder. So very warm.

"It is just once. There is no crime, no sin. You do not even have to say yes, just put your arm around me. Let yourself be warm... Let your loneliness be broken, have peace and healing. You will be safe. A sleep without dreams... Is that alone not worth it?"

(A Sin For Him)

Shelley imagines it for a moment, faint flush across her cheeks never fading, and how she hates that.

She imagines letting go and falling forward into his waiting arms, being held. Being warm, no matter how cool the air grows. And then... what? It would not the end. There's never an end.

Her eyes are still closed against him, but she feels it as he leans back a little, the lessening pressure. Her hand held against her shoulder tries to curl away.

"No. I can't."